Derek Coward's Noise » movies

Stephen Won’t Watch ‘Gremlins’

Derek — Sat, 21 May 2011 12:43:55 +0000

My son Stephen and I were watching TV when a commercial for a showing of the movie Gremlins came on. I was a little excited because I thought he might want to watch a movie that I remember liking when I was younger, but at the same time I thought it might be a little too intense for him. He is seven years old, and while he is really advanced for his age, Gremlins isn’t exactly the type of movie you show to a seven year old.

I was worried for nothing, because when he heard the rules for having a Mogwai, he was uninterested. ‘Don’t get them wet’ and ‘Keep them out of sunlight’ didn’t bother him, but ‘Don’t feed them after midnight’ killed any interest he may have had in the movie. He got this really odd look on his face like he was trying to figure out something that didn’t quite make sense. Finally, he just turned to me and said “Wait a minute, it’s always midnight somewhere, so you’re NEVER supposed to feed them? That’s stupid.”

I didn’t want to admit to him that little bit of logic never occurred to me until they pointed out the same thing in the second movie. I didn’t want him to think his old man was a dopey guy when he was a teenager. I also didn’t want to make up excuses for the creators of the movie.

I just shrugged, said “Good point.” and changed the channel. He went back to doing what he was doing and hasn’t thought about it since.

Sleepy Philosophy

Derek — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 14:08:06 +0000

In the post-apocalyptic landscape of life, most people think they are Mad Max, when we are actually the Helicopter Guy.

Oh yes.

Derek — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 01:14:27 +0000

If the real Nancy Spungeon was even as half as irritating as Chloe Webb played her in the movie Sid and Nancy, I would have stabbed her ass too.

I need some Steve McQueen help

Derek — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 01:11:00 +0000

I was on the 11 O’Clock Comics forum in the political talk thread. Patti was sitting next to me looking at the screen. She looked at the screen and saw this avatar for one of the other posters:

This is the conversation that followed:

Patti: Who’s that guy?

Me: What guy?

Patti (pointing to the screen): That guy. Who is he?

Me: That’s Steve McQueen.

Patti: Who?

Me: What? You’ve never heard of Steve McQueen?

Patti: No, who is he?

Me (long pause as I struggled to wrap my mind around the fact there is someone I know who has no idea who Steve McQueen is): The original Blob, Bullitt…

Patti: What’s Bullitt?

Me (long pause as I struggled to wrap my mind around the fact there is someone I know who has no idea what Bullitt is): What?

Patti: Don’t give me that look. I don’t know comic book stuff.

Me: The Great Escape, The Getaway, The Magnificent Seven.

Patti: Why does that sound familiar? I’ve heard of that.

Me: He’s one of the last real fucking men in Hollywood.

Patti: You could have just said he was an actor.

Help me out. Which Steve McQueen movies (besides the ones I have listed) should I show her?

Two Things 7/27

Derek — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 15:21:00 +0000

I am heading out for the day but I have two things I wanted to share.

1) My cassette adapter is still broken, so I have a bunch of old tapes with me: Expose-What You Don’t Know, Whodini-Escape and The Best of Charlie Parker Vol 2.

2) I saw Dark Passage today for the first time in years, I would have ended it differently. The scene after Bogart gets on the bus would have cut to Peru at some undetermined time in the future. Bacall would have been sitting there ordering a drink “I’m expecting someone, please let me know when he arrives.” The waiter would have agreed and a nearby employee would have said “Should I set another place at that table?” Waiter shakes his head slowly “No. She says that everyday.” Fade to credits. We never know if Bogey makes it or not.