My coworker: Derek, we can put this project off a couple of weeks. What do you think?
Me: I’m a morbidly obese hypertensive who could drop dead at any minute. I say we just get it over with.
Other people on the meeting: …
My coworker: I thought you’d want to get it done ASAP.
My son Stephen was getting ready to wash the dishes, so he asked me “Where’s the sponge?” Without missing a beat, I responded “In a pineapple under the sea.”
It took him a few seconds to get what I was talking about, but the confused look on his face was priceless.
I love being a father.