Dear Friend of mine who likes to spoil things because you don’t think it’s a big deal,
I know you’re a huge Star Wars fan. You better go see it the very first second it comes out because I plan on seeing it as soon as I possibly can and I will send nothing but a series of spoilers designed to suck as much enjoyment out of the experience for you as I can. Why will I do that? So that you aren’t the only total asshole in our relationship. You have been warned.
By the way, this is aimed at one particular person. They may have forgotten what I can be like but they have one year to mull it over.