A Particular Set of Skills

I was walking around minding my own business when I got a phone call.

Me: Hello?

Him: Hello. Is this Derek?

Me: Yes.

Him: Hello, Derek. My name is (something I couldn’t hear properly) and I’m calling from (again something unintelligible) Insurance Company. My manager and I found your resume online and we think your skill set will be a good fit from a position at our company.

Me: Oh, OK.

Him: The position is for an entry level Insurance Sales position and (more unintelligible stuff I couldn’t hear because of his connection but was definitely from a script)…

Me: Wait a minute, I have a question.

Him: (obviously ticked off because I interrupted his script reading) Sure…

Me: You said you’re calling me because of my skill set. What part of my resume makes you think I would be a good candidate?

Him: According to your resume, you were a Data Analyst…

Me: And so you think that being a Data Analyst somehow translates into Sales.

Him: Well, no but…

Me: (being an interrupting dick) So what was it on my resume that makes you think I would be good or even interested in Insurance Sales?

Him: Well, you have a lot of work experience and we don’t really look for Sales experience. We will train anyone who we think has a…

Me: So work experience is all I need?

Him: (sounding a bit desperate to get off the phone with me) Yes, can I set up an appointment so you can meet with my manager?

Me: (ignoring what he said beyond ‘Yes’) So the only real particular skill set I need in this case is to be unemployed and looking for a job?

Him: (long very noticeable pause) Well… (another one) Yes.

Me: I don’t think this would be for me.

Him: Me either

With that, one of us hung up the phone. I’ll let you be the judge about which of us it was.


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