A few weeks ago I was picking Stephen up from school. He’s in the morning kindergarten class and has to be picked up by 11:55 or else I catch hell for it. Not by his mother or the school, but by him. The kid is a little too smart for my own good.
Anyway, I was running late and was rushing to the front of the school where the kids were. One of his classmates was walking with her mother back to their car. The mother looked at me, smiled and in a very cheery voice asked “Hi, are you Olivia’s grandfather?”
I gave her the patented Derek Coward stone face and said “No, I’m Stephen’s father” and kept walking. In my head I was thinking “What the fuck? Do I look old enough to be Olivia’s grandfather?”
Then it occurred to me. “Uh, probably. Because YOU ARE A GRANDFATHER!!!”
It was too late to tell her that there was no offense taken because she was hurried up to her car, probably a little embarrassed. And Stephen was waiting for me. In fact the first words out of his mouth were “You’re late again.” [Even though I wasn’t the last parent/grandparent there, but if he has to wait even a second, then I’m late.]