Changing Eating Habits

I think I made a mistake by letting Patti know that I am trying to change my eating habits. Whenever I tell her that I am trying to eat healthier, it seems like she goes out of her way to shove the sickest most fat laden delicious pieces of garbage in front of me. I’m not saying that she is intentionally trying to sabotage me, but it just seems that way at times.

This morning I had to take her to drop her car off at the car dealership and on the way back she asked if I wanted to stop at McDonald’s for some breakfast. Normally I would have said yes, but my stomach has been gurgling all morning long so I want to avoid my own intentional sabotage. I passed and after dropping her off at work I came home to make my own breakfast.

10 seedless grapes
2/3 Kroger brand Granola cereal without milk

I realize that this isn’t a balanced breakfast and probably doesn’t correspond with any real diet plan out there, but I like it. I wish I had a scale so that I can keep track of what my progress is, but I am of the opinion that following a set metric like that is counter productive. I will know that I am doing it right when I can see the results in the mirror.

Amy Winehouse and Billie Holiday

I have an account over at, which has been described as Twitter for music.  I like it, but then again I like most music services that introduce me to music that other people like and not necessarily the music that some program director somewhere likes or some company in cahoots with the music industry is trying to sell me.  To me, this is the flaw of’s radio stations and Apple’s new Genius feature in the latest version of iTunes.

One of the songs that I have heard is the demo version of a song by Amy Winehouse called ‘Love Is A Losing Game.’  Like a lot of people I have only heard a couple of Amy Winehouse songs and I am more familiar with her rather obvious self destruction that some people seem to relish in documenting on a weekly (if not almost daily) basis.  Her voice in the song is powerful but flawed, filled with a tragic beauty that I would have caught even if I had no idea who was singing.
It reminds me so much of the later days of Billie Holiday that it is eerie.  There are other recent singers who have been compared to Lady Day.  Norah Jones, Madeleine Peyroux and Diana Krall immediately come to mind, but none of them have this sense of tragic inevitability in their voices that Winehouse brings.
Here is a clip of Billie Holiday and Lester Young singing the song ‘Fine and Mellow’ that I was thinking of when I heard ‘Love Is A Losing Game.’  

It would be really easy to just say “Poor girl, I hope somebody helps her”, but I really think that we are seeing the last chapters of her story and while she may have some people around her who want to help her get better and stronger, I think that there are just as many (if no more) people around her who want to see her fail and fall. There is a lot bigger potential for making money off of the tragedy of Amy Winehouse’s life if she isn’t around to get better. Expect several tabloid shows to cover her death for weeks if not months with a lot tongue clucking and fake headshaking accompanied with the phrase “so young” being thrown around a lot.

A few posthumous albums later and Amy Winehouse will be forgotten as anything more than a punchline to jokes that will never make it on late night talk shows. Unfortunately for her, she will never gain the pop culture longevity of Billie Holiday, even though there will be a lot of similarities between them.

Top Search Query terms

Here are some of the top Search Query terms according to Google Webmaster tools for some of the show websites in the Deliberate Noise Network: – mouth cancer

BoxxOnline – toxic virgin

Comic Book Noise – i want to write my name in water

Deliberate Noise – arm amputee – i was morriseys drummer

Weird, huh?

Good News On The Horizon?

As you may remember, I am unemployed. The afternoon of the day I was laid off, gas prices started their recent decline. Being the self-centrist that I am, I have decided that the decline is due to the fact that I have nowhere to go that will use up copious amounts of gasoline (like a job, for instance).

Allegedly gas prices are going back up. Could it be that one of the 100 or so resumes I have sent out has landed on the desk of someone who will offer me gainful employment? Or is it just my ego running amok again?

We shall see.

How Do We Know That The World Wasn’t Destroyed?

The Large Hadron Collider is a particle smashing machine that is supposed to help scientists understand (or be able to prove) the so-called "Big Bang Theory", which in turn "could revamp modern physics and unlock secrets about the universe and its origins". That’s the upside. A lot of critics of the project thought that the LHC "could create tiny black holes of intense gravity that could suck in the whole planet". That would be the downside.

Apparently the thing was turned on and the world wasn’t sucked into itself, so they are going to go on to the next part of the project. I don’t understand any of it because I never had a single Physics class in my entire life. That’s part of the perks of being in the Business tract in high school, if Emmett Brown destroys the world, you wouldn’t know about it until it happened.

However, I’m not a total dolt and I like to think that I think deep thoughts at times. So my question is this: How do we know that the world wasn’t destroyed? If you think of reality as an organic thing, then it would have curative properties of its own. Something like the destruction of a world (or possibly the entire universe) could self-correct instantaneously and we wouldn’t know about it.

And what if there really are an infinite number of alternate realities that spin off of even the most minute of differences. For example, when I first started this post I called it the ’Large Hardon Accelerator" before correcting myself, but if I had typed it right the first time, then that would be a different reality. All of my current timeline leading up to the moment and leading out of that moment is the same, except for that one ten second span of time.

If the LHC (or LHA, if you prefer) were to destroy the world and theoretically the universe, then we wouldn’t know about it because it didn’t happen in this reality. I know there is no way to prove that something of that magnitude (or minitude), but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Just because our understanding of physics says one thing that doesn’t mean that something else isn’t possible (and by our understanding, I mean someone else’s understanding).

The first of many hard days

Stephen’s first day of kindergarten and first day riding the bus with his sister. I want to warn him that the world is a cruel place for someone like him. He is handsome at five years old. Not just cute, but handsome. He is smart. At the Open House at his school, the other parents were marvelling at the fact that he is reading already. And not just words, but pretty complex sentences. And not just reading them, but understanding them.

He also has an almost cavalier disregard for other people when there is something he wants. Combine that with a pretty bad and sudden temper and you have a recipe for potential disaster.

I want to tell him that he is different from the other kids and because of that they are going to dislike him. Enough will like him because the kid is just so charismatic, but there will always be that one kid who will find how to push his buttons and set him off.

I want to tell him that there will be times of extreme and utter boredom in a classroom filled with people who can’t keep up with him. I was there and while my parents knew, they also knew that there was nothing they would be able to do about it.

I want to warn him about a bunch of things, but I know that I can’t because I don’t want him to be afraid of life. There are a lot of areas where he is like me and I can foresee a lot of the misery that I went through being his future, but I know that if someone (especially my dad) told me what life was going to me like I would have disregarded them and wouldn’t have changed a bit. As stubborn as he is, I can see him doing the same thing.

I know that this is going to be a hard day for me. The first of many, but there’s nothing that I can do about it.